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    "text": "I wrote a bookmark story in this neighborhood last year, weirdly",
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            "alt": "Bookmark-length short story Chainsaw Man, by Stephen Kearse\n\nWhen the unsubtle governor announced a conference at a shuttered scissor factory, reporters predicted he'd talk cuts. To taxes, STI clinic funding, bridge inspections—standard depressing capitol news. The press pool placed bets on the size of the ceremonial shears he'd bring. He showed up with a golden chainsaw, stroking it as he mounted the lectern. The planned cut was extraordinary: to “protect our precious sovereignty,” he buzzed, his administration would excise Pennsylvania from the continent and relocate it to the North Pacific. He assured the journalists any lost jobs would be replaced, then introduced Cut Coordinator Tom Klipputz, former music executive. Klipputz got straight to business: “The Ring of Fire will be an adjustment for some, but the ring of freedom is priceless.” He slid on safety muffs then ordered the work crews along the state borders to begin sawing. The governor’s gilded tool roared over the reporters’ questions.\n",
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            "alt": "A golden chainsaw looms over a map of Pennsylvania ",
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    "langs": [
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    "createdAt": "2025-04-03T16:55:10.921Z"
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