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Record data

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    "text": "I think this might be my new favorite Onion article",
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            "alt": "Though the amulet had long been dismissed as urban legend, a mythical ideal of zoning perfection handed down from city planner to city planner, LaMere became convinced that not only was it real, but that it had been used to lay out the cities of Ur, Atlantis, and Inver Grove Heights, MN.\n\nLaMere credited the amulet with the overnight renovation of the Monroe County Public Library, and the recent redesignation of a Southern Rochester area from “commercial” to “single-family residential use for detached and semi-detached structures.” Many Rochester citizens believe the amulet is responsible for the fully stocked ocean aquarium that materialized in the city center Sunday, and the gleaming new Friendly’s restaurant that rose serenely over the banks of the Genesee River late Monday afternoon.",
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            "alt": "City planning commissioner Errol Criclow, who was dismissed by LaMere at a Planning And Zoning Commission hearing last Thursday as “subhuman,” said that he feared that LaMere’s power would eventually corrupt him and his city. According to Criclow, during a private consultation with local community leaders, LaMere became infuriated with timid suggestions that his amulet be used to create more green spaces. In a blinding torrent of thunder and light, LaMere violently rezoned Rochester’s west side with a maze of warehouses and parking garages. The act left LaMere himself dazed and shaken.\n\n“For a minute there, he seemed his old self,” said Criclow. “When he saw what he’d done, he looked remorseful. But then his hand found the amulet, and he threw back his head and laughed long and loud, like a man who has forgotten the difference between industrial and recreational—between right and wrong.”\n\nAdded Criclow: “I don’t think what he’s doing is mere magic. I think it’s darkest bureaucromancy.”",
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    "createdAt": "2025-05-08T16:00:05.771Z"
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