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It’s the 51st anniversary of one of this proud nation’s great cultural highlights: renowned intellectual Ken Tynan gets his girlfriend to stick vodka up his bum. The consequences are… less than ideal

May 5, 2025, 8:15 AM

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          "alt": "5 May\nI read in Alan Watts' autobiography, In My Own Way, that alcohol is best taken rectally instead of orally. Since I know this to be true of sleeping pills (suppositories are much healthier than the oral kind), I madly determine to try it. So Nicole and I return from eating a peppery Indian dinner to Emma Gordon's flat, where we are spending the weekend, with a half-bottle of vodka with which to make the experiment. Nicole injects a large wine-glass of vodka into my anus via an enema tube. Within ten minutes the agony is indescribable. I am squirming as if Prussic acid had been squirted into my colon. The astringent vodka tightens the rectal passage and inflames the mucous membranes: so that I spend a sleepless night, followed by a tormented day, interspersed with visits to the loo every ten minutes - most of them abortive, since the diarrhoea is denied its natural outlet by the tightly compressed anus. In addition to the pain, I am bleeding copiously from the rectum. Poetic justice is thus visited upon me, anal fixatee that I am, and translated into farce. It takes forty-eight hours for the after-effects to subside (N.B. three days later I am still seeping blood). Oh, the perils of hedonism!",
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